


well, we certainly didn't expect this to happen

by nellforrester



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, High School AU, Slow Burn, humor ensues, lapidot - Freeform, lapidot high school au, lapis is the emo newspaper chick who slanders the school, peridot is sent to stop her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nellforrester/pseuds/nellforrester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High school AU! Peridot is a dorky innocent do-gooder who just wants to please her emotionally and socially exclusive mother. When her mom's best friend, the principal of Homeworld High, tasks Peridot with investigating the newspaper articles slandering the school, Peridot finds herself in contact with mysterious loner Lapis Lazuli. The single member of the newspaper club, Lapis is witty, sarcastic, laughably emo, and surprisingly dedicated to justice through her snarky articles and comics. Will Peridot carry out her mother and principal's wishes and put an end to Lapis' endeavors, or will she find in the strange blue-haired girl something she'd never considered before? Revamped May 2018.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. holy shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -

“Holy shit,” the girl exclaims, pushing herself away from dual computer monitors on a spinny office chair.

“Holy _shit_ ,” she repeats, realizing that the chair is leaning out of balance.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Peridot mutters for the third time, rubbing her hair and noting the hopeless state of her messy blonde locks. She shakes her head and readjusts her giant glasses, immediately checking for concussive symptoms.

“Okay, it’s fine.”

Peridot talks to herself a lot. It's kind of her thing.

“ _Graugh_ , stupid chair,” she grumbles, gingerly lifting herself up and returning the item to its original position. There might be a small bump on her head in the morning, but it’s nothing too bad. Certainly nothing to call her mother about.

The teenage girl sighs and leans against her bedroom wall, scanning over the disastrously messy space that she had previously been attempting to ignore. Her walls are a faint green and her carpet is grey, her bed is unmade and adorned with a decade-old Star Wars comforter, and her clothing, mostly green, flannel, and worn, lays haphazardly throughout the area. The whole room smells faintly of cinnamon chewing gum and sports deodorant (despite the fact that she is the least active person she knows).

Peridot herself reflects the same vibes as her living space: nerdy, messy, and… eclectic. Her hair has no specific shape or cut, being only brushed once in the morning and once at night; but she swears that if she narrows her eyes enough while looking in the mirror, it resembles a triangle. As for build, she’s average—she certainly isn’t very ripped, but she lucked out with a pretty high metabolism. It’s kind of a mystery to her how she can manage to maintain an average weight when literally all she does is play video games and complain on the internet.

In terms of clothing, Peridot sticks to the basics—which, to her, means a black tank top, a green flannel, jeans, and combat boots. She kind of has a thing for fingerless gloves and wears them until someone teases her, but then they have to go away for a while.

She shakes her head again, remembering what had caused her to topple over in the first place. She plops right back down in her chair and turns to her dual-monitor computer setup, re-reading the e-mail from the principal of her high school:

            _Peridot,_

_Thank you for your interest in improving our school’s image. I am assigning you to moderate the work being produced at our student newspaper, The Bauble Bugle. I have been receiving letters about controversial and perhaps inappropriate content being published without my knowledge, and I’d preferably like you to scope things out before I have to get involved. You’re smart, just like your mother. She will be very happy to know you’ve accomplished this task._

_Sincerely,_

_Principal Diamond_

Peridot smiles victoriously at the message again. Homeworld High is a massive, prestigious charter school, and her mother is close friends with the exclusive and mysterious principal. The exclusive and mysterious principal who just sent _her_ an e-mail, that is!

 “Wait,” she says, reading the “recipient” line on the screen. _Shit_.

                        _To:[periclod420@gem-mail.com](mailto:periclod666@gem-mail.com)_

“Wrong e-mail,” she squeaks, yet again pushing herself back in the chair and yet again toppling over.

Upside-down on the ground, Peridot grins.

She has a _mission_. And nobody is going to get in her way.

***

“Holy shit,” the teenage girl says, reclining smugly in her firmly rooted cushy chair. She crosses her arms against her chest and re-reads the title of her newest masterpiece:

_Homeworld High is a Heinous Hoax, and we have the Corrupt Principal to Prove It_

_by Lapis Lazuli_

Lapis pushes thick blue bangs out of her face and stretches tan arms above her head. High school may suck, but at least she's got her goddamn newspaper. 

And _nobody_ is getting in her way.


	2. peridot is really gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -  
> Ms. Granite is not based on any character from the show - I just tried to imagine a boring fuckin' rock and granite came to mind. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

There comes a day in every girl’s life when she has to fight for what she believes in. Whether a rebel, a loyalist, or something in between, she enters the battle boldly and confidently, ready to take on the horror and violence of war. 

Fortunately, today is not that day.

“ _Uraugh_ , I don’t feel like doing this,” Peridot groans as she sprays deodorant over her infinitely-worn gym clothes. The girls' locker room at Homeworld High doesn’t really reflect the school’s prestigious reputation; but really, how could it?

“Tell me about it,” the nearby Amethyst agrees, running a brush through her wild black hair. Amethyst is one of Peridot’s only friends, an outgoing joker whose antics have caused the administration to question her placement at the school on multiple occasions. However, what she lacks in subtlety she makes up for in passion; her colorful artwork, often done in collaboration with her best friend/ rumored girlfriend Vidalia, gets the school into every art show in the tri-state area. Thus, she stays.

 _At least it’s last period gym class_ , Peridot thinks,  _and once this is over with, I’ll begin my mission for Principal Diamond._

Peridot hasn’t told anyone about the mission, due to its inherent secrecy and her own desire for self-importance. Instead, she’s psyching herself up internally—which doesn’t happen very often at all.

“Hey, you’re uncharacteristically quiet,” Amethyst observes, stretching her short chubby legs on a moldy wooden bench. “Don’t you have some TV show you have to catch me up on?”

“I’m fine,” Peridot says, rolling her eyes and walking over to the mirror. Her hair is in its normal position, which is kind of just the lack of position, and her gym clothes don’t seem to reflect their months of washless use (look, it’s really inconvenient to bring that shit home and back). As long as she doesn’t let anyone too near her pungent green sweatshirt and black leggings, she’ll be okay.

“ALL RIIIIIIIIGHT, LADIES!” bellows an obnoxious voice from the front of the locker room. The students follow her call like sheep, congregating by the gym door in a multi-colored, sweaty frenzy.

“Today we will be playing a new game,” shouts their gym teacher, Ms. Granite, clenching her olive-toned wrists and flexing her obnoxiously prominent muscles. Peridot is honestly kind of afraid of her instructor—which is why she tries extra hard to safely make her way through this stupid, cloddy class.

"It’s spring now, so we can play outdoors,” Ms. Granite says, leading everyone to the school exit. “But if you act out of line you will lose your privileges!”

There’s a spattering of snarky laughter from the audience, but Granite’s intense glare instantly shuts everyone up. Peridot can’t help but sigh with relief, which causes Amethyst to jokingly punch her on the shoulder. Peridot narrows her eyes and prepares to strike back, but—

“ _You!_ ” Granite shouts, pointing directly at the pair, “is that… _physical aggression_?”

“N-no ma’am, we were just—”

“ _Pffft_ , look in a mirror sometime,” another voice, chill and quiet, mutters out. Peridot heaves a sigh again when Granite’s attention, as well as the attention of every single student, is redirected towards a girl standing isolated from the group.

Peridot has seen her before, but they’ve never shared a class besides this one. She’s definitely a loner, a little bit scary (but in a different way than Granite), and probably would hate anyone who would ever talk to her. So no one really does.

She’s pretty, though. Like, really pretty. Gorgeously tan skin, a killer body, bushy blue bangs and a dark navy sweater—

“Dude, you are _so_ gay,” Amethyst whispers, punching Peridot again. Peridot blushes and looks back to Granite, who seems to be about ready to explode.

“Why are you not in your gym clothes?” Granite demands, walking up to the girl aggressively. Her subject stays unwaveringly chill, with a stolid 'I don’t give a fuck' expression solidly planted on her face.

“I’m a non-participant. It’s been this way all year.”

“I don’t have non-participants in my class!”

“Well guess what, now you do.”

Peridot bites her lip with secondhand anxiety. Well, and also because the girl is super hot, but that’s not the point.

“Get changed or I’m making you swim laps, Lazuli,” Granite threatens. It occurs to Peridot that the two seem to be familiar… not in a good way, but still.

The girl, Lazuli, seems to look legitimately conflicted. What’s so bad about swimming laps? Peridot certainly wouldn’t prefer to do so, but it isn’t the end of the world…

“Fine,” Lazuli says darkly, looking downright murderous. “I’ll go change.”

Granite nods with harsh approval and waves the mysterious loner off. A loud snicker comes from another student, who Peridot recognizes as the ultra-popular, ultra-athletic Jasper. Granite gives her something of a warning glare and she cuts it out. Peridot wonders what the deal is with those two, and Lazuli’s shadowed face lingers in her head…

But life goes on. And Peridot has a gym class to survive. 

“Get ready, ladies,” Granite says, walking over to the storage closet and exiting with a wooden bat. “We’re playing baseball.”


	3. hit the diamond (see what i did there??)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -  
> Flourite has been changed to Citrine, since we have a canon Flourite now.

“More like ‘take me out of the ballgame’,” Amethyst whispers in Peridot’s ear as the girls walk onto the field. Peridot shoves her away (their friendship consists of a lot of platonic violence) and stuffs her hands in the sweatshirt’s pockets, still trying to shrug her sudden attraction to the angsty blue-haired stranger.

Peridot has been aware of her gayness since the beginning of high school, making it roughly two years since her homo-revelation. It was actually kind of easy for her to realize; it was more of the heteronormative stigma of, 'oh, but you’re not gay!' holding her back. She wishes she lived in a world where people could just like who they like without grand statements or labels, but this world is unfortunately imperfect (in more ways than one).

She certainly isn’t the type to go to pride or make any grand ol’ statement about her sexuality, though. She just holds onto the thoughts of having someone to hold her at night, or someone to hold, someone smart who understands her problems and thinks she’s funny and respects her boundaries—

“Bruh,” Amethyst says, rolling her eyes in Jasper and Granite’s direction, “I think we’re picking teams.”

“Shit,” Peridot responds, shifting her weight. “what are our chances we’ll end up together?”

“Well, if we’re the last ones left, as usual, we’ll probably be split up, as usual.”

“ _Shit_.”

 “Okay, ladies, hit the diamond!” Granite hollers, waving for everyone to gather in the center of the baseball field. It’s a gorgeous day out, but also hot; Peridot regrets only wearing a sports bra under her heavy sweatshirt.

“You should all know how baseball is played, and if you don’t, it’s probably too late for me to explain it,” Granite says, bouncing the ball back and forth in her muscly hands. “Jasper and Citrine will pick teams, line up and brace yourselves.”

Peridot and Amethyst wince as they join the line of insecure teenage girls. Jasper, a popular and bulky sports superstar, eyes the girls with a kind of terrifying hunger, already making battle plans in her head. Her dark skin is already marked with small beads of sweat, and her long, wavy hair blows freely in the wind.

Citrine is less intimidating; she’s also pretty popular, but for better reasons. The petite, pale girl is the president of the junior class and of the honors society, and she’s nice to everyone she meets. Peridot can only hope for her mercy when it comes to team selection.

“You can go first,” Jasper says raggedly, stepping aside for Citrine to make her decision (a strategic move, Peridot is sure). Flourite runs her hand through her ginger hair and purses her lips, obviously putting a lot of thought into this insignificant choice. 

“Pyrite, come on over here!”

And so it begins. Peridot and Amethyst watch dully as every person gets chosen for a team, until they’re predictably the only contenders left.

It’s Citrine’s turn to pick again. 

She looks over the two girls, trying not to appear judgmental despite the fact that she is literally judging them. 

“Hurry it up, Citrine,” Granite mutters, looking down at her perfect manicure. Citrine winces and wordlessly points to Amethyst, who shrugs at Peridot and heads over to her assigned team.

Jasper, aggressive as ever, walks over to the cowering Peridot, welcoming her in the least welcoming way possible.

“And I guess that leaves me with you—"

“ _LAZULI_ , SO GLAD YOU CAN JOIN US!” Granite bellows with smug satisfaction. Peridot’s head whips around to see the girl from earlier approaching the field, changed into much more sports-appropriate getup.

“ _Whoah_ ,” Peridot mutters, transfixed by Lazuli’s choice of clothing. She wears a baseball-style cropped shirt, denim shorts, knee socks, and sneakers… and she looks _so, unbelievably hot_.

“Never mind, I pick _her_ ,” Jasper exclaims, sizing the girl up like she’s a piece of meat. Lazuli rolls her eyes and shifts her weight, fully aware that everyone’s attention is on her.

“Go to hell, Jasper.”

Jasper looks like she’s about to punch the petite girl out, until Granite luckily intervenes.

“Okay, okay, simmer down,” she says, glancing at Peridot, “you go join Citrine’s team. Potty mouth, you’re with Jasper.”

“This is a violation of my rights—”

“Do you want _chlorine_ as your afterschool snack, Lazuli? _Go join the damn team!_ ”

“Who’s the potty mouth now?” Lazuli mutters as she does what she’s told. Peridot is impressed by this girl’s brashness and intrigued by her interactions. How come she’s never noticed the outsider before?

“She’s been in this class all year,” Amethyst says, pulling Peridot into the catcher’s field. “What’s the big deal now?”

“I dunno,” Peridot says. “Do you know anything about her?”

“I think she and Big Buff Cheeto Puff used to date,” Amethyst says, “but it was, like, _fuuuuucked_ up. It had something to do with her standings in the swim team, which from what I’ve heard, is kind of a cult.”

“Her and Jasper?”

“I know dude, it’s weird. I could have sworn she used to be kind of popular, too… but now she’s in emo obscurity, and nobody wants to approach her due to her scary, offputting vibes.”

Peridot pauses and raises an eyebrow. “How do you _know_ all this?”

“Well, you know Pearl. Gossip machine.”

Pearl is one of Amethyst’s friends. She’s really involved in the honors societies and kind of intimidates Peridot, so they don’t really talk. But _Pearl_ talks; all the time, every day, about basically everyone. She and Rose Quartz would be the pro/antagonists of any hypothetical _Gossip Girl_ -type TV show taking place in the school, for sure.

“Okay, so how you do play this?” Peridot asks Amethyst, spacing herself just far enough away from her friend that Granite won’t scream at her. Amethyst shrugs.

“Beats me. Ball gets hit, someone runs, someone catches. It’s an American pastime.”

“I guess that’s close enough.”

And so the game commences, with the athletic people succeeding and the mediocre struggling. Neither Peridot nor Amethyst has to catch a ball, thanks to their convenient location right by the first base. For them, this dumb game isn’t about winning; it’s about not getting involved.

“Lazuli, you’re up to bat!” Granite hollers, garnering Peridot’s attention. She watches as the girl steps up to the plate slowly, giving the least effort possible in her bored expression and shitty posture, and loosely grips the wooden bat. The ball is thrown towards her and she doesn’t even move; she just lets it rebound off of the wood, tosses the bat behind her back, shoves her hands in her pockets, and stalks off towards second base.

Lazuli makes it.

“ _Dude_ ,” Amethyst laughs, invading Peridot’s personal space and making her all flustered, “you should have caught the ball, she was right there!”

“I could have… caught it?”

“Yeah, idiot, that’s your job!”

Peridot shakes her head and brushes Amethyst away, turning back to Lazuli on second base. She stares off into the distance, apathetic and removed as ever.

“Yo,” Amethyst says, “looks like the victory was short-lived. We’re switching sides, man.”

“Oh, okay,” Peridot mutters, still kind of dazed. “Let’s walk slow so we’re in the back of the line.”

“Peri, you really are a genius!”

Peridot tries to snap out of it as she and Amethyst shuffle to the back of the batting line. Hopefully the team will strike out before she actually has to step up to the plate (all concepts she vaguely remembers from _Wii Sports_ ).

Lazuli stands in the back edge of the catcher’s field, taking the opposite approach. It’s doubtful that someone would hit a home run, so she’s pretty safe all the way out there. And besides, she’s made it pretty clear that she likes to deviate from crowds, even if she’s in an organized sports game.

“Nuh-uh, not this time,” a voice grumbles from behind Peridot and Amethyst. “You two run this scam every time we play ball, and I’m tired of it. Get to the front.”

Amethyst glares at Granite as she reluctantly follows directions. Peridot anxiously does the same.

“You’re up first, Amethyst,” Jasper teases, tossing her the bat. Amethyst winks playfully and steps on to the plate, hitting the ball moderately far and making it to first base. Peridot is impressed; although Amethyst plays into the anti-sports persona, she isn’t half bad.

Peridot, however, is bad. Very, very bad.

Lazuli looks at her for a second, but then dismisses her presence. Peridot gulps as the ball gets closer and closer…

_WHACK!_

She hit it hard! The ball goes flying past most of the players, within only one person’s reach…

Lazuli misses it.  She realizes her mistake, rolls her eyes, raises her arm unenthusiastically, and shifts her posture.

And Peridot runs, hitting first base as Amethyst reaches second.

“And that’s our time, ladies!” Granite interrupts, disbanding the game. “Jasper’s team wins!”

Citrine puts her hands on her hips.

“Wait, but we didn’t even play a full game—"

“School’s over in ten minutes,” Citrine’s friend Pyrite mutters. “I wanna go _inside_.”

“Ugh, fair enough.”

Amethyst heads back to the locker room with Peridot by her side, but the little nerd seems to be distracted.

“Still looking for Moody Blue?” Amethyst teases, opening the heavy door for her distracted companion. Peridot blushes.

“She just disappeared.”

“Well, it is last period. Maybe she just went home.”

Peridot flinches. _Last period!_

“I have to change fast,” she explains, ripping her locker open and taking out her normal clothes. “I gotta be somewhere after school.”

“Seriously? Where?”

Peridot pauses for a moment and then grins wickedly.

“Can’t tell you. It’s confidential.”

***

Ten minutes later and Peridot is on time.

“Uh,” she stammers, opening the heavy door to the long-forgotten newspaper room, “I’m here for the meeting.”

Silence.

Peridot enters the room, frightened by the near-total darkness of the small space.

“F-for The Bauble Bugle? The website said you all meet down here…”

“You all?” a familiar, chilling voice asks from the darkness. Peridot blushes.

A computer monitor suddenly boots up, illuminating the face of the snarky blue-haired mystery herself.

“I’m Lapis Lazuli,” she drawls, “and you’re looking at the single member of The Bauble Bugle.”

“Uh…”

“Now my question is,” Lapis says, rising out of her chair and nearing towards Peridot’s figure, “what the hell do you want with my newspaper?”


	4. lapis casually hangs in out in dark rooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -

_“Now my question is,” Lapis says, getting out of her chair and nearing towards Peridot’s figure, “what the hell do you want with my newspaper?”_

“Well. That is… a good question,” Peridot responds quietly, shifting on the balls of her feet.

Somehow ‘to infiltrate your operation and expose what you’re doing to the principal so you’ll probably get shut down’ seems like the wrong answer, so Peridot just goes with a simpler response.

“Nothin.”

“Okay,” Lapis says, rolling her eyes. “Well I have actual work to do, so if you could—”

“Wait, wait, no,” Peridot exclaims, shaking her head. “I’m here to join. I want to join your club.”

“Great, are you another one of those Honors English Society assholes who gets their one English extracurricular and then bails?”

“No. I’m, uh, genuinely interested in what you do here. For real.”

“Pfft, okay,” Lapis says rolling her eyes again.“I write, occasionally draw, and do layout. I send the final cut to the main office and then it’s printed and dispersed. Three people take it and the rest line trash cans. You sure you wanna get in on this?”

“Totally!” Peridot enthuses, slowly adjusting to the darkness of the room. “I’m willing to help out in any way possible. I promise I won’t, uh, bail.”

 “Okay then. I have no idea why you’re doing this… but thanks.”

“No prob, bob.”

“Uh. It’s Lapis.”

Peridot finds herself blushing, searching for a face in the dark or any further sign of response. She hears a deep sigh, a shift of weight, and then footsteps.

A switch clicks and the room is flooded in fluorescent light.

“Wait, so you just sit in the dark by choice?” Peridot asks incredulously, raising an eyebrow at the amateur newsgirl. Lapis stands bitterly at the switch, still in her baseball outfit from earlier.

“Okay, so you’re in. Sorry we don’t have jackets or anything,” Lapis quips, rolling her eyes and dodging the question. Peridot smiles; for a moment she’s genuinely excited to hang out with the interesting near-stranger… but then she realizes what she’s really here to do.

“Sounds good,” Peridot says, pausing to gulp. “I’m excited.”

“Knock yourself out, dude,” Lapis says, dropping herself on the spinny chair by the computer. “The next issue comes out in two weeks.”

“So what now?”

“Well, we’re gonna have to do what I call ‘running errands,'” Lapis says, rolling her eyes and picking up a notepad. “I have to figure out what kinds of articles to write for the issue, which means going around and talking to people about school events.”

“That sounds fun!”

“I hate it.”

“Okay!”

Lapis heads to the door and Peridot follows her like a puppy dog. “Well, at least we can do it together!”

“Whatever…  _you_ ….”

“ _Peridot!_ ” the tiny nerd essentially gasps, “my name is Peridot!”

 In the dim light of the tech hallway, Lapis finally gets a good look at her new companion. Peridot finds herself blushing, which she hates because  _she’s a double clodding agent for clod’s sake!_

Lapis Lazuli is depressed, bitter, apathetic, and literally spells out trouble for the school Peridot—and more specifically Peridot’s mom—loves. Who cares if she has what seems like a sad, haunted past or a thirst for passion or just a really, really nice face?

 Peridot came here on a mission.

 She follows Lazuli down the hallway, determined to succeed.


	5. it's so funny because we all know they're gonna end up together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -

“So, errands!” Peridot says, trying to match Lapis’ surprisingly quick pace as they speed through the hallways, “what exactly does that mean?”

“I normally do the talking, but you can try if you want,” the newsgirl says in a friendlier voice than would Peridot would expect. Lapis is hostile to literally everyone, but she’s being much nicer since Peridot actually showed interest in something she’s obviously passionate about—shit, but it’s _double-agenty_ interest…

“Eh, I’m not really a talker. To strangers. Or people in general, really.” Peridot mutters, marveling internally at just how ill-suited she is for this mission. Lapis nods understandingly (but not totally understandingly, obviously).

“Same here, but it’s a part of the job.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Lapis glances thoughtfully away from Peridot as she attempts to further the conversation. _Shit,_ Peridot thinks, _she’s basically doing the mission FOR me._

“So, you’re a writer, then?” Lapis asks with clear expectation in her voice.

Peridot pauses. Well, she kind of is, but that’s…

“Uh, yeah,” Peridot says carefully, “I write… on the internet… for other people to read…”

“Holy shit, you write fanfiction!” Lapis exclaims, laughing only semi-mockingly. “Oh man, that’s great, I can’t wait to see what you come up with…”

“Haha, yeah!” Peridot exclaims, laughing nervously. Look, Percy and Pierre have, like, no canon interaction in the show, so can you really blame her—

“Wait, fuck, you could do fanfic of the school,” Lapis muses, pausing for a second and laughing sardonically at her own imagination. “Write a deep backstory for that one creepy substitute teacher who watches weird foreign videos on the job, or explain the secret love affair between Coach Granite and Evil Overlord Diamond—"

“Hey, why would you insult Principal Diamond like that?” Peridot asks impulsively, looking just a little too offended for the task at hand. She mentally reminds herself of her _clodding job_ that she’s _clodding bombing_ as Lapis raises a cynical eyebrow.

“Dude, she’s the worst,” Lapis says, “she’s manipulative as hell, treats the staff like shit except for Granite, and only cares about the dumb school sports. I don’t think she’s ever showed up at a musical once.”

“Wait, Lazuli, you’re into theater?”

“I work tech sometimes. I used to perform though, in freshman year.”

Peridot finds it impossible to picture Lapis singing and dancing onstage with a smile on her face. Maybe if she was in some tragedy or angstfest like _Macbeth_ or _Spring Awakening_ , though…

Displaying more compassionate interest than she probably should, Peridot proceeds in her questioning. “Used to, though? Why’d you stop?”

Lapis looks away suddenly, trying to act casual. “I used to do a lot of things. Now it’s just me and the paper. And I guess you.”

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

Lapis was originally so _mean_ , so Peridot felt okay with doing this! But now she’s really nice, and sad, and _hot?_

Peridot does not know if she can fuck this girl over. She seems like she’s been through so much already… hmmmm, even if she hates Principal Diamond, maybe Peridot can convince her otherwise? Maybe that would satisfy all parties involved?

 _Okay, yeah,_ Peridot thinks to herself as she follows Lapis to some unknown location.  _I’m HELPING her. Maybe she and Principal Diamond can get ALONG, then EVERYTHING will be better. And maybe then Lapis and I can hang out somewhere other than the dark newspaper room and the stupid school hallways..._

A small smile appears on Lapis’ face as the tiny nerd matches her stride. While the weird girl stares off and thinks about God knows what, Lapis finally takes a moment to look her over—she’s cute, sure, with her flannel and boots and ridiculous hair, but there’s something else too: a strangely nice person who somehow looked past her coarse persona and joined her cause.

Of course Lapis is aware that she has a bad case of the Holden Caulfields—but at least it’s justifiable by her history. She’s been hurt and betrayed and used for most of her high school years and that’s why she’s such a goddamn outsider in this stupid, soul-sucking establishment. She was naïve, _so_ naïve, and then she got fucking trapped, because she cared and she tried and she became toxic because of it. It's not her fault people are horrible. It's not her fault justice is dead. It’s not her fault the world is such a fucking impossible place to exist in and everyone's out to get you no matter what.

And Lapis is living in it alone. Ever since things fell apart, she’s been so alone.

“You know, fanfiction isn’t that nerdy,” Peridot says defensively, as though just remembering the small pprtion of their conversation. “You could call a lot of classical literature fanfiction. For example, consider…”

Lapis lets herself grin as her new companion drones on about shit she already knows. For now, Lapis has decided, she likes Peridot. Obviously not enough to remotely trust or engage with her without the usual six layers of sarcasm and casual detachment, but definitely enough to tolerate her. And since the shit that went down so many months ago, that’s kind of a first.

Lapis needs to surround herself with nice people who aren’t going to hurt her or make her hurt others. Or at least that’s what her mom and therapist keep telling her. And Peridot, with her nerdy ramblings and total social awkwardness, seems like the least hurtful person around.

Lapis can’t help but allow a small ray of hope to pierce through her adapted dismal worldview.

_Maybe things are looking up._

 


	6. paint war! paint war! paint war!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -  
> i fucking love this chapter so much holy shit

Errands, it turns out, are a lot more stressful than one would imagine.

“Yeah, yeah, screw you guys too!” Lapis shouts spiritedly as she and Peridot run away from the afternoon student council meeting. They’re a cult, Lapis swears it; apparently she’s working on a piece detailing their plan to drill deep into the Earth in order to find prom decorations.

The pair, led by a certain blue-haired asshole, had attempted earlier to eavesdrop on the meeting… until they were caught by smug-ass Yellow Pearl (a popular nickname for Pearl's right-hand cronie) and got booted out of the room.

“This is crazy,” Peridot pants as the girls slow their pace, resting in an unpopular hallway by the FCS rooms, “you are crazy.”

“You don’t know the half of it, buddy,” Lapis says, smirking and tossing her hair. “I’ll let you choose where we go next if you want.”

Peridot blushes. That’s… so nice.

“Uh, sure,” Peridot says, trying not to look too hard into Lapis’ pretty blue eyes or at her strong angular nose. “We could visit my friend Amethyst? She basically lives in the art room, if you like stuff like that.”

Peridot realizes that it sounds more like she’s proposing a date and blushes even harder. Lapis, however, is too busy being high on adrenaline from their last encounter, thankfully missing Peridot’s more intricate implications.

“I mean, did you see that?” she exclaims, leaning against the poster-clad wall for support, “we pissed them off so much! It was great!”

“So it’s your goal to piss everyone off?”

“In this hell school, _yes_!”

Peridot winces. What happened to Lapis Lazuli to make her bitter? Peridot gets annoyed sometimes at the antics of Homeworld High, but she doesn’t hate it. Her mother would never allow it, and besides, she sees no reason to be so goddamn cynical.

“Okay,” Lapis says, still laughing lightly, “art room. Awesome. Maybe someone can draw me a comic or whatever.”

“Y-yeah!” Peridot exclaims. “That sounds awesome!”

Again, Peridot realizes the duality of her role. Her mission.

“So,” Peridot asks as the girls make their way to the art room, “what exactly is your problem with the school, anyway?”

“Haha, wow,” Lapis says, laughing sardonically, “where to begin?”

“Maybe gym class,” Peridot suggests, curious if it would spark something in Lapis’ memory. Namely, Peridot’s presence.

“Oh, shit, you’re in my class!” Lapis exclaims, grinning widely. Peridot’s heart cheers. That’s a thing hearts can do, right?

“Yeah, I am,” Peridot says, “and I will concede that Granite isn’t the greatest… what’s her problem with you, anyway?”

“Oooh, big word, you are a writer,” Lapis teases, clearly avoiding the question. Peridot’s heart groans.

Peridot should not like this girl. In fact, Peridot should be sabotaging this girl.

She sighs deeply as she opens the heavy art room door for her blue-haired companion.

“Yo, thanks,” Lapis says, smiling actually kind of sincerely, “this was a cool suggestion.”

There’s that “date” connotation again. And there’s that _damn_ blushing again.

“Y-yeah,” Peridot stammers, letting the door close behind her as she enters the art space. The air smells like oil paint and clay and Peridot can hear Amethyst’s rather obnoxious voice coming from the labyrinthine connected rooms.

“Vi-DAAAAAH-lia, I have a PRESENT for you!”

Lapis and Peridot stand nervously in the main room, listening to the violent out-of-sight struggle.

“GET OFFA ME, AMY!!!”

“NOT TODAY, BITCH, NOT TODAY!!!!!”

“This is nice,” Lapis comments, smirking and then walking forward bravely. Peridot nervously follows behind her into the back art room, afraid that she’s about to walk in on a total make-out session or something.

Instead, Lapis and Peridot find themselves in the midst of a massive, messy paint fight. And Amethyst is sparing no lives.

“Shit!” Peridot groans as a giant blob of green acrylic paint splatters all over the front of her tank top and flannel shirt. Lapis lets out a belly laugh and ducks as Vidalia launches yellow in her direction.

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that!” Lapis taunts, dramatically sliding her body across the table in the center of the room and grabbing a tube of blue paint. She drops gracefully underneath, taking convenient shelter from the flying colors.

Amethyst, who perches on top of the back counter, raises an eyebrow at Peridot upon seeing her company. Peridot just shrugs, picking up a palette from the counter beside her and holding it up as a lame-ass shield.

Vidalia is on her feet, already covered head-to-toe with every color on the rainbow and with nothing to lose. She pulls five tubes of paint out of her overalls' pocket and stalks like a predator to the end of the table where Lapis hides, lazily squeezing them at Amethyst on her way.

“No one will be spared,” Vidalia teases quietly, leaning down slowly and staring at Lapis’ condensed form. Peridot can’t help but hold her breath.

“So about that arts budget,” Lapis quips, “is this all you guys _do_ in here?”

“It’s how we mix colors!” Amethyst jeers from her perch, “art is an _adventure_ , bitch!”

 Vidalia points the tubes at Lapis and Peridot feels her stomach lurch. Without really thinking, she quietly slides the palette under the table right into Lapis’ reach. Lapis feels it hit her back and grabs it in her hand, completely out of Vidalia’s sight.

When Vidalia shoots the paint out of the tubes, it doesn’t hit Lapis; it splatters right off of the palette and back into her face.

“DAMNNNNNNNNN!” Amethyst cheers as Vidalia spits and sputters. Lapis gracefully gets out from under the table and smashes the palette onto her opponent’s face like a pie, formally claiming her victory. She then gives a little curtsy and stares meaningfully at the rather stunned Peridot.

“You helped me out there, man,” she says, smiling with that ultra-confident, adrenaline-y look again. “Thanks.”

Peridot gulps. Shit, fuck.

Lapis then takes the tube of blue paint in her hand, shrugs lightly, aims it at her chest, and squeezes it with everything she has.

“ _Duuuuude_ ,” Vidalia mutters, walking over to the sink in order to get the gunk off of her face, “what the hell?”

“Well, I didn’t want to miss out,” Lapis shrugs, looking casually amused at her own actions. She returns to Peridot boldly, a true survivor despite the blue paint splattered on her top.

“Did you, uh, get what you needed?” Peridot asks, wincing as Amethyst harshly whispers something to Vidalia in the background. Lapis shrugs again.

“A first-hand look, I guess. Y’wanna check out the music program next?”

“Yeah, that’d be gre-”

_SMOOSH!_

Suddenly, they’re hugging. Like, tightly. And it’s kind of… _wow_.

Peridot realizes that Amethyst probably pushed Lapis into her… it was most likely her way of helping out…

“ _Augh!_ ” Peridot groans, pushing herself away from a rather mystified Lapis. This was not in the mission description!

“Hey, look,” Lapis says, grinning slightly at her chest, “we made turquoise.”

Peridot blushes for what seems like the millionth time when she realizes that she’s marked with the same.

“And that is a top-notch mix there,” Vidalia says, carrying over a fresh palette and painting knife. She holds it by Lapis’ chest, looking up at her former opponent with complete respect.

“Mind if I…”

“Jeez, you should probably take me out to dinner first.”

Vidalia rolls her eyes and scrapes the paint off of Lapis’ top, leaving a dull stain on the fabric. She goes for Peridot next, and then hands the palette to Amethyst.

“If you’re lucky, you’ll see that color in the art show in a few months,” Vidalia boasts. “Our methods are… unconventional… but unlikely mixes like these often turn out to be beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Amethyst says, looking affectionately at Vidalia, “what she said.”

Peridot has the sudden urge to take Lapis’ hand. She immediately represses the urge, obviously. But it’s totally there.

As the girls exit the art room, Peridot can’t help but prod at Lapis again. "You can’t hate this whole school, right? I mean, that was super fun!”

Lapis smiles sincerely, but with a strange edge of darkness unfamiliar to Peridot’s eyes. She’s… vulnerable. Tired. Raw. Just for a second.

“Yeah,” Lapis says, “it was fun. Thanks for taking me.”

Peridot can’t help but smile.

Turquoise just became her new favorite color.


	7. errands, continued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -  
> this was a really short chapter originally, so i re-distributed stuff from ch 8 to this one.

“What’s next?” Peridot pants to her companion, still pushing herself to keep up with Lapis’ hasty pace. She wishes she could go change out of her paint-soaked flannel shirt, but if she could guess anything about Lapis Lazuli, it’s that she waits for no clean-up ever.

“I was thinking the music room,” Lapis says, almost seeming as though she’s actually enjoying something for a change. “I have a few friends in there who are practicing for their self-produced cabaret."

“A few friends?”

“Okay, maybe two.”

Peridot shrugs and smiles. “Sounds good to me.”

She’s decided that she’s just going to enjoy this in the moment— whatever _this_ is.

Lapis turns past the auditorium and then approaches the choral room. Through the window Peridot can see one red-haired freshman standing in front of the piano and a blue-haired girl plunking on the keys.

“Who are they?” Peridot whispers as Lapis crosses her arms over her chest. Lapis turns her head.

“Their names are Ruby and Sapphire. They’re these crazy prodigies who came from the middle school last year, and they’ve already scored leading roles in the musical. But the coolest thing is their duo-act, _Garnet_. I think they have an EP on Spotify.”

Peridot smiles. “Wow. You sound like a reporter.”

Lapis blushes, if only for a second. “I mean, on occasion people don’t suck. I, uh, appreciate them when I see them.”

 _Well_ , Peridot thinks to herself, _if you don't think I suck now, you will later. When I, y'know, shut down your single source of happiness in this entire school._

Peridot is luckily relieved of her self-pitying spiral by the greeting of Ruby, a tiny red-haired butch chick.“Lapis, hey!” she shouts as she rushes towards the music room’s front door. Her dark-red combat boots echo on the cheap plastic tile floor, and her  tank top easily reveals more sports bra than the dress code can possibly allow. Sitting behind the piano is Sapphire, a blue-haired girl wearing a sick-looking eye patch and a floofy powder-blue sundress.

“Hey,” Sapphire greets in a strange spaced-out voice.  _It's a different spaced-out voice from Lapis’, though,_  Peridot considers,  _in that Sapphire just sounds dreamy, while Lapis sounds like her soul is living in some other hell dimension._

Lapis steps forward and surprisingly allows Ruby to give her a hug. 

“Who’s this?” Ruby asks, shooting an uncertain glance towards Peridot. “This is a closed practice.”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Lapis dismisses, grabbing Peridot by the waist. “She’s with me.”

Ruby and Sapphire exchange a look. Clearly they aren't used to Lapis actually having company.

“Hi, sorry,” Peridot mutters, Lapis’ hand wholly present on her hip. “I’m Peridot. I work for the newspaper now.”

Ruby looks impressed. “Wow, so Lapis isn’t doing it alone?”

Peridot shakes her head. “Nope. Not anymore.”

In the corner of her guilty green eyes, Peridot can see Lapis smile. Shit shit shit shit shit.

“So what are you guys doing?” Lapis asks, letting go of Peridot’s waist and heading towards the piano. Peridot ruffles her hair nervously and follows.

“We’re working on our first offical album, _The Answer_ ,” Sapphire answers as she plucks out random chords. “It’s about women loving women in the modern age.”

Ruby smirks and puts an arm around her girlfriend. “Yeah, guys. She’s putting the ‘Sappho’ in ‘Sapphire.’”

Sapphire laughs lowly and plants a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek. Lapis and Peridot just glance at each other, eyebrows raised, and quickly and simultaneously look away.

“Well, I, uh, should probably interview you,” Lapis says, working up the stomach to make it out of this this lovey-dovey hellhole without losing her lunch. “Peridot, can you record?”

Peridot steps backwards. “Record? Why would I record you?”

Lapis sighs. “So we can write down the best answers later. Come on, just do it on your phone or whatever.”

Peridot gulps and does as she was told. She opens up this app she has, one of those cute virtual tape recorders that looks old but works just as well as Apple’s.

“Is it on?” Lapis asks Peridot, actually sounding business-like and dedicated for the first time this afternoon. Peridot nods.

“Yeah. Log date 4 April 20XX, this is Lapis interviewing... Ruby and Sapphire."

Lapis glances appreciatively at Peridot's intro, and then launches into her interview like an actual professional. Her self-written questions are insightful and unique, which as Peridot understands is pretty damn rare for a shitty high school newspaper. Lapis actually is… good at this. And she doesn't look as fucking depressed as she usually does when she's getting to the root of the truth.

“All right, so here’s a big question,” Lapis says, turning the page in her tiny blue Moleskine notebook. “How do you guys feel about the funding changes that Principal Diamond has suggested for next year?”

Ruby and Sapphire exchange a nervous glance. Clearly this question is unexpected.

“Uh, we approve of whatever Principal Diamond decides,” Ruby says hesitantly. This seems to break Lapis out of her efficient reporter persona.

“Oh, come on, you two! You must have… thoughts about all the music money being re-routed to sports!”

“Hey, look, Lapis,” Ruby argues, clearly not in it for the interview any longer, “we’re happy to help you with an interview about _The Answer_ , but as for your commentary on Principal Diamond… we’d both prefer to be left out.”

This angers Lapis. “Of course neither of you actually care!” she exclaims, swiping the tape recorder up in her hand. Peridot wants to argue (a broken phone screen would be hard to explain to her mother), but Lapis is far too enraged to be reasoned with.

“Hey, hey,” Sapphire says, placing an arm on Lapis’ shoulder. “Calm down. I can answer the question, but I’d like it to be… off the record.”

_BEEP!_

Suddenly everyone in the room turns to Peridot’s phone. And, just like a delivery from the heavens, she receives a notification on the top of her screen.

_FROM: Mom TO: periclod420_   
_When are you getting home from school? Someone needs to feed pumpkin >:(_

Lapis smirks, the tension dissipating. “Who’s Pumpkin? A brother? Sister?”

“Close,” Peridot quips as she holds her phone to her chest. _Home by 4:45_ , she types with rapid-quick fingers. She closes the texting app and sighs. “Uh, Pumpkin’s my dog.”

“Dogs are the best,” Lapis says almost wistfully. She then turns to glare at Sapphire and Ruby. “They always tell the truth.”

Ruby just shrugs, while Sapphire clears her throat. “Do you want to hear what we have to say or not, Lazuli?”

Lapis nods zealously. “Yeah. Go for it.”

Ruby clears her throat. “And you promise you’re not recording what we have to say?”

Lapis nods. “Yep.”

But Peridot knows better. Behind Lapis’ back the girl offers her hand, opening and closing it in a grabby-grabby gesture. For a split second Peridot’s gay ass wonders if Lapis wants to hold hands… but then realizes that she's just motioning for the phone.

_So Lapis is a liar too. At least that makes two of us._

Peridot passes Lapis the phone, and Lapis sets it on record. All the while, Sapphire slowly speaks.

“Diamond is taking significant amounts of the music program’s budget in order to supplement the swimming team,” she says lowly. “It’s obscene, the amount of things they’re getting over there: new suits, team swag, locker room expansions, you name it. Meanwhile, orchestra and band registration for next year has gone down by forty percent, and I’ve heard Rose Quartz saying that they’re going to fire Ms. Sugar!”

Ms. Sugar is the school’s beloved choral and theatrical instructor. Peridot can't imagine why she would ever lose her job.

“My theory is that Coach Granite’s pushing her out,” Ruby reluctantly adds. “Principal Diamond might even be in on the whole thing.”

“But why?” Lapis asks, her mind back on the beat. Ruby just shrugs.

“You should ask Pearl. She knows everything about this stuff.”

Lapis groans. Pearl is one of the most stuck-up assholes in this entire school, but she does know a lot, which unfortunately makes her an asset to the paper.

“Thanks, guys,” Lapis says, passing the phone back to Peridot and shaking both Sapphire and Ruby’s hands.

“Hey, Lap,” Ruby says with a clear edge of concern. “Are you doing okay?”

Lapis remains stone-faced. "I'll see you guys later."

And with that Lapis exits the music room, followed by a confused and apologetic Peridot. Lapis speed-walks through the hallway, faster than Peridot’s tiny legs can go, and finally pauses by the swimming trophy case. She leans against the cool glass and looks down, dark blue bangs hanging over her face.

“Lapis?” Peridot asks quietly, wary of possible bystanders. For now, the two seem to be alone. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I recorded them,” Lapis says blankly. “My friends. God, I’m such a fucking asshole.”

“Hey, hey,” Peridot comforts the girl, leaning next to her and nervously fidgeting with the sleeves of her flannel. “It’s okay. I can just delete it, all right?”

Lapis groans. “I just want to do something… about how angry I feel. I’ve been so fucked up by this school. By people. Diamond, Granite... Jasper. Even by myself. I need to be productive. I need to make something of… this.”

The blue-haired newsgirl motions to herself as though identifying the entire problem. Peridot furrows her eyebrows.

“Look,” she says, “this place can bring out the worst in people. Let's just delete the off-the-record stuff. You seem like you really know what you're doing, even if your material is limited. It'll be okay."

Lapis finally looks up. "What's the worst in you?"

Peridot freezes. "I, uh..."

And then, just like that, Lapis stands. “Hey,” she says, as though the previous conversation hadn't even occurred, “I’m gonna ask around some more for a boring article that my psych teacher wants me to write. You should probably get home to feed Squash.”

Peridot grins. “Pumpkin?”

Lapis smiles back. “Right.”

The girls exchange a look— _another fucking look_ —until Lapis finally turns away. Dumbfounded, Peridot remains by the trophy case, trying to process the incidents of the afternoon.

The mission had been a success. With the recording Peridot had concrete, damning evidence that Lapis Lazuli was attemping to undermine the principal in print. Peridot could attach the audio file to an email, hit send, and be finished with the entire affair.

Peridot’s eye wandered to the largest, shiniest trophy in the case.

_LAPIS LAZULI. 1ST PLACE._

Or…

Peridot found the log on her phone recorder, took a deep breath, and pressed ‘delete.’

_Shit, shit, clodding shit._


	8. pumpkin the dog is the protagonist of this story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- edited 5/10/2018 -  
> pumpkin's apparently female in canon, which makes sense since l&p are used to gems with only she/her pronouns, but i thiiiiiink i'm gonna keep pumpkin a good boy here.

Pumpkin wasn't as hungry today as Peridot had expected.

“Come on, you little clod,” she mutters towards the droopy-eyed golden shih tzu, who just stares up at her with his usual loving gaze. Pumpkin is old—for a dog, that is—but still somehow looks like a goddamn puppy. And he, on all accounts, is adorable, so sometimes Peridot takes it upon herself to knock down his self-esteem a peg.

Pumpkin, full and bored, moseys up the stairs and straight into Peridot’s bedroom, where his little green bed and squeaky toy Robonoid already wait. The dog collapses onto his bed just as Peridot allows herself to slump into her computer chair. 

“ _Shiiiiiit_ ,” she groans as she grabs at her mouse, startling her two-monitor setup to life. She should check her email, see what Principal Diamond has to say about her lack of information… but instead, her cursor hovers past Google Chrome and clicks on _The Sims 4_.

~

Three hours, nine game crashes, and one microwave meal later, Peridot decides that she probably should cut down on her number of in-game mods before trying to launch the clodding thing again. So much time, so much _effort_ , put into a Percy and Pierre domestic AU… only to crash, for the final time, and corrupt the save file.

“ _GAHHHHH_ _!_ ” Peridot groans, pushing herself away from the desk and falling out of her chair again. Just as she had done last night. Because of…

_Bzzt. Bzzt._

“Oh my stars,” Peridot groans as her mother’s stern profile picture appeared on her phone’s screen. This wouldn’t be good at all…

“Erm, hello?” Peridot says into the speakerphone, scrambling to mute Ruby and Sapphire’s EP that she had been ‘researching’ for the story.

“Peridot,” her mother responds, and just from that Peri knows that she's in trouble. What is it this time? She forgot to do extra credit and it showed up as a zero? Granite narced on her for sucking in gym? Mom finally found out about the obscene amount of money Peridot is paying Electronic Arts?

“Yes?” Peridot asks, trying to keep her voice level. She could freak out as much as she wanted—a wonderful perk of living alone about 80% of the time—but not while on the phone with Mom. The freaking out would come later, stirring Pumpkin awake and probably causing Peridot to binge-download a fuckton of _Sims_ mods.

“I just received a call from your Principal Diamond,” Peridot’s mom says judgmentally, as though she expected her daughter to be such an idiot as to forget the entire assignment. “Why haven’t you reported your findings?”

Even at the word ‘report’ Peridot feels guilt fester in her gut. She has feelings, yes, really confusing ones… but she's not about to share them with the coldest, more pragmatic person in her life.

“Sorry,” Peridot says, already opening up Chrome, “I took a nap when I got home from… you know. It was really exhausting.”

“I can imagine,” Mom exclaims with clear exasperation, “that girl, Lazuli, is the daughter of one of our competitors. Or, at least, was. Her mother jumped ship, what was it, about two years ago? No wonder she’s stirring up trouble, without a female role model and all that. I can’t even imagine where you’d be without my guidance.”

On the tip of Peridot’s tongue is, ‘probably a lot happier and maybe even with a girlfriend, you clod,’ but luckily her mother cuts in again.

“Oh, I need to go, my assistant’s motioning… send Principal Diamond the e-mail, dear, and send Spinach my love…”

“Spinach!” Peridot spits. “You mean Pumpkin?”

“Oh, well, I had a spinach salad for lunch. He’s your dog, anyhow. Send the e-mail. Good night.”

 _Click_.

Peridot doesn't know if she's relieved or distressed that the hell call finally ended. Probably—definitely—relieved.

There isn't much Peridot knows about the enigmatic Lapis Lazuli, but from what she does, she could assemble something of a timeline: her mother left, she became involved in swimming, something happened to make her quit, or leave, or something, and now… she's an antisocial reporter, stirring up shit just because she can. Or for justice, or something.

Peridot looks at the blank e-mail on her screen and sighs. She could maneuver this, at least for tonight. Make Diamond think she hasn’t learned enough, that she needs to go deeper. The real question was, would she?

Peridot’s mother had always considered her an inconvenience. Or a nuisance. She wants love? She gets a dog. She wants entertainment? She gets all the video games she can dream of. She wants validation and support?

Good luck with that, asshole.

 _Dear Principal Diamond_ , Peridot begins to type. _I have not yet learned exactly what the newspaper is planning to report. Will try again tomorrow and let you know._

_Sincerely, Peridot._

It's BS, yeah, but it's BS that'll buy her time. Time to figure out how to help Lapis without upsetting the principal, figure out how to stay loyal to her mother while not kicking this fragile girl while she's already down.

Peridot wipes the tired out of her eyes and flops onto her half-made bed, lying on her side so she can press her face onto Pumpkin’s fluffy back.

Peridot then screams into Pumpkin as though he's some sort of noise-cancelling pillow.

Pumpkin doesn't mind; this happens basically all the time.

Once finished releasing her frustrations into forests of soft doggy hair, Peridot idly strokes Pumpkin’s belly while she checks up on her texts. Nothing from Mom—wonderful. Nothing from Amethyst—not unusual, especially with the art show so close.

But, wait. Peridot doesn’t recognize this number.

Attached is a picture of a dim computer screen, probably in Microsoft Word, revealing the headline “CLUSTERS OF CONTROVERSY: HOW HOMEWORLD HIGH HIDES ITS LIES.”

Below the picture is a short message, cryptic yet perfectly concise:

_Thanks for today._

_\- L_

Peridot drops her phone on the bed and puts her blushing cheeks in her hands.

Beside her, Pumpkin yawns.


	9. the moon sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you thought this fic was dead? think again!  
> i did a shit ton of editing in earlier chapters if you need to catch up. enjoy!

A lot of Lapis’ daydreams happen to take place on the moon.

She can roll with it, usually—sure, the moon kind of sucks, but really, what doesn’t? At least on dream-moon, the blue-haired deviant can chill in her mind palace and ignore the bullshit of the everyday. Boring psych lecture, cancelled in her mind palace. Annoying Pearl talking shit two rows back, silenced by the atmosphere of some foreign world. Just the stars, the crater-filled ground, and Lapis herself, wearing a pair of daydream-sunglasses and giving less than a single fuck.

_RIIIIIING!_

And just like that, the moon fades away. Lapis is back in class, stuck in one of those ridiculous chair-desk hell-combos, her water bottle leaking onto her abandoned notes on the anatomy of the brain. Awesome.

She sighs as she watches Pearl follow Rose Quartz out of the classroom, eager and chatty as ever. The piece on the school budget is coming along well, especially after last night’s additions, but Pearl is definitely the missing piece. Lapis can sling shit as much as wanted, but for the article to actually pack a punch it needs cold hard quotes. Luckily, Pearl never really seems to run out of those.

Lapis shoves her notes into her backpack and slings it over her shoulder, crunching her water bottle in her hand as she passes by the teacher’s desk.

“Lapis,” Ms. Goldstone stops her, “how’s that piece on student psychology going?”

Lapis pauses and turns to her teacher, a friendly woman who she can never quite bring herself to personally dislike. She even musters a small smile, for good measure, partially out of guilt for daydreaming through the entire lecture.

“It’s on its way,” Lapis says, although the project has definitely taken a back burner to the budget piece. Speaking of which… “Hey, would you mind maybe answering some questions about this year’s budget allocations?”

Goldstone’s smile turns to a frown. “I don’t think I can, Lapis. You know that I appreciate your journalistic style, but Principal Diamond… well, I don’t want to feel that woman’s wrath, if you know what I mean.”

 _Dammit_ , Lapis thinks to herself. _Goldstone, too._

“Oh, well,” Lapis dismisses, trying not to sound too crushed. “That’s okay.”

“I’m serious,” Goldstone says sternly. “I wouldn’t publish anything too harsh about the budget. It spells trouble for the school, you know.”

Lapis adopts an innocent expression and tosses her water bottle into the recycling bin. “I understand.”

“Why don’t you focus on that student psych article instead?”

“Good idea.”

Lapis smirks as she exits the classroom—there’s not a fucking chance she’s letting this go. The more people she discovers who fear Principal Diamond, the more she’ll dig in her heels. After what happened with Granite and Jasper, and to a lesser extent Diamond, Lapis is just raring to cause trouble for the school. No one should be this terrified of a tall lady in a white pantsuit, even if she is admittedly kind of hot in a scary MILF way.

Lapis shakes her head—what the actual fuck was that?

Okay, so maybe she’s feeling a little gayer than usual. Which, all things considered, is still pretty gay. She’d previously closed off those feelings, ever since things ended with Jasper. A relationship as toxic as that one couch ruin the entire concept of crushing for months… but Lapis had expected it to be more like years.

But then, yesterday, that girl Peridot came along, and she was pretty damn cute. _Is_ pretty damn cute, in a dorky non-threatening way. So basically the opposite of good ol’ Jasp.

Lapis shudders at the thought of her brute of an ex. She wasn’t innocent in that shitshow of a relationship, as much as it was easier to view herself as some shattered little victim. Shit, it just hurts her head to think of it.

Speaking of headaches…

“Hey,” Lapis says shortly to Pearl, who stands at her open locker. Lapis can’t help but roll her eyes at the photos of Rose plastered on the door. Subtle.

“What?” Pearl says, clearly eager to make it back to her BFF/ possible GF. Lapis pulls her bangs out of her face.

“What do you know about Principal Diamond reallocating funds from the music program to the athletics department?”

Pearl pauses for a second, recognition crossing over her face. Lapis’ journalistic sixth sense sounds off—clearly she has the dirt.

“Rose has been talking about it,” Pearl says slowly, “the budget stuff. Apparently it’s not just affecting the music department.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. The Prom Planning Committee is taking a hit, too. Their funds are almost half of what they were last year.”

Lapis bites the inside of her mouth. Ah, yes, prom. Her and Jasper’s first night out as a real couple.

Pearl seems to have noticed that she struck a nerve. “How _is_ Jasper?” she asks, with that lifted intonation that just sounds straight out of _Glee_ or some other shitty high school drama. Lapis scowls. Somehow this girl is in everyone’s business, huh?

“Hey, one more question,” Lapis says, ignoring the J-subject. “What do you know about Peridot?”

Pearl looks thoughtfully at the ground, as though imaging the short girl there. “Hm. I know she’s friends with Amethyst. I think her mom’s close with Principal Diamond.”

Lapis raises an eyebrow. What?

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I remember Rose telling me about it.”

A stinging mixture of emotions course through Lapis’ head—surprise, paranoia, and the ever-present self-hatred. She had actually opened up to the other girl yesterday. It had been… surprisingly easy. Shit, she’d even been developing cushy feelings for her.

Well, fuck that. Fuck Pearl, too.

Lapis turns on her heel and sulks down the hallway, not even thanking Pearl for her insights. She has one person, one mission in mind now…

Find Peridot, and figure out what the hell she really wants out of this operation.


	10. lapis is fucking pissed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, so i actually wrote an outline for this story?? like, i know where it's going?? wild.  
> also my tumblr is wonderful-and-strange if you're crusin for lapidot content and a lot of other shit too

The longer Lapis knows of Peridot’s mother’s connection to Principal Diamond, the more she hates herself for trusting the talkative stranger in the first place. What business would that stuck-up kiss-ass actually have at her shitty one-woman newspaper? She’s probably spying on Lapis, has been since they formally met yesterday, narcing details to her mother so Principal Diamond can intimidate her inferiors into staying mum. It certainly explains Goldstone and Ruby/Sapphire’s answers to Lapis’ questions. It’s just like that awful woman, outsourcing her evildoing to willing chumps to prevent dirtying her own hands. After all, it’s not as though it hasn’t happened before.

The blue-haired teen sees red as she crosses the crowded hallway, unflinching at the sound of the day’s final bell. Great, well, Peridot’s just another member of the junior class that Lapis can and should loathe. That group includes Lapis herself, by the way, for being such a trusting idiot again.

Yeah, again—for someone so rigid and sullen, Lapis really is sensitive as shit. And Peridot had somehow wiggled past her heavy shell, at least for a moment, during their short time working together.

How can she be so vulnerable and vitrolic towards nearly everyone she meets? All a part of the shitty, shitty package, Lapis figures.

And the anger never really goes away, does it? It just hides, rests, lays dormant behind her heavy bangs until something or someone new fucks her up again. No, that’s wrong—she’s the fucked up thing. She’s been shattered for years.

Lapis groans and collapses behind an uncrowded locker bank, shoving her hands in her pocket to avoid fidgeting or scratching at her skin. She will not have a fucking panic attack because of this. She will not.

She bows her head and releases a quiet sob. _Idiot, idiot, idiot._

Sometimes things stabilize, and it’s… something. Normal. Safe. She’d been hovering in that area for a while. She could be aloof, sarcastic, basically crying for help through the darkly humored pieces in the school paper that she knows no one reads. Throwing tantrums, trying to tug at the coattails of the asshole leader of this entire hellish institution.

Lapis chuckles lowly. Well, this is Principal Diamond’s retaliation. Give her a friend, even for a day, someone who seems to support her cause…

But, shit. It’s all more fake bullshit in the end.

Because as much as this whole planting-Peridot thing is a semi-useful manner of information gathering, it’s mostly emotional manipulation. Just like with Jasper, Principal Diamond just loves using loyal pawns to fuck with anyone who doesn’t act her preferred way. Lapis kind of wonders if Peridot even realizes how much she’s being goddamn used.

Diamond could shut down the paper any time, Lapis knows it. She has known it. She started small at first with the articles, making a few small jokes about the dress code or Coach Granite or the cafeteria food. No response from the faculty or admin, and the printers continued to work. So Lapis upped the ante, penning satirical pieces about sports games and student council and the fact that the school lies about recycling. She’d done some actual quality journalism, albeit with a dark sense of humor and an overall non-fuck-givingness that made her so fundamentally repulsive to most. Still nothing from Diamond… so Lapis decided to go even bigger.

The budget piece, along with being a lovely fuck-you to Diamond, Granite, and Jasper, would actually help people. It would help those in the arts and music programs like Ruby/Sapphire and Amethyst. Part of Lapis was actually proud to be putting her good work to a cause.

And, of course, just when Lapis was beginning to feel enthusiastic about something, Diamond had to cut in with this fucked-up manipulative scare tactic. Part of her wondered if Pearl had been told to relay the information, either by the Rose Quartz or the Principal herself. She could just imagine it: _“Miss Quartz, I will allocate funds to this year’s prom planning committee if you have your bird-shaped lackey drop an emotional bombshell on the clinically depressed social outcast.”_ What a plan.

For the second time in this meltdown, the question of Peridot’s awareness of the situation rises in Lapis’ head. Does she know everything about Jasper, and the swim team, and the Principal herself? Or is she just blindly following orders for extra credit?

… When she had hugged Lapis, supported Lapis, was she lying the entire time?

Lapis sighs, just for a second, as she remembers the wide eyes of the cute girl who followed her in the hall. The little catlike smile, the kind that’s like “:3.” The lightness.

The blue-haired girl shakes her head and takes out her laptop, cracking open to a screensaver of the ocean and the latest draft of the article. It could use a few more sources, sure, but with Pearl’s fun little addition…

Lapis wouldn’t be a fucking victim this time. She wouldn’t just fall down and take this, like she had with Jasper last year. She may be stuck, lost, broken—but she can still goddamn scream. She’s Lapis Lazuli, and they can’t keep her trapped here anymore.

She pulls her bangs out of her face, puts fingers to keys, and drowns the screen with words.

***

If Peridot narrows her eyes, it almost looks like Pumpkin is judging her.

The orange-red shih tzu lies on her bed, gtaring from across the room, while the messy-haired teen runs the Hunger Games Simulator with CPH characters on her dual computer screens.

“Ahahahaha Paulette!” Peridot laughs as the little icon is ‘speared through the abdomen’ by Counselor Montreal. Both Percy and Pierre are still in the game, and there are maybe seven tributes left…

Pumpkin yawns from atop the bed, stretching his tiny little arms as though the weight of the world is upon him. Peridot sighs, grabs her phone off the desk, and goes to spoon the tiny animal.

Peri holds the dog like a teddy bear and uses one arm to scroll through her recent e-mails. The most concerning and recent, another inquiry from Principal Diamond regarding Lapis from 2:34 P.M. today. Read over, several times, but never answered.

It’s about 4:00.

Peridot hadn’t seen Lapis in school at all today. She had expected a text from her regarding more ‘errands,’ or maybe even a draft of the final piece, but since last night’s thank-you there’s been radio silence. Part of Peridot is actually thankful—no Lapis means no guilt. But no Lapis also means… no Lapis.

Pumpkin shifts in Peridot’s arms as the garage door downstairs loudly opens. Peridot releases a small gasp—her mother isn’t supposed to be home at all tonight! She’s at some fancy conference in Empire City, she’s supposed to stay in a hotel…

Peridot places an indifferent Pumpkin on the Star Wars comforter and runs out of her room, crouching over the stairwell to creep on her mother entering through the front door.

“Yes, we can just stop here for a few minutes, you can ask her yourself…”

Peridot’s mother enters the house’s foyer, not bothering to remove her autumnal padded coat. And behind her enters…

In her flannel PJ pants, yellow-green footies, and I Want to Believe T-shirt, Peridot releases the tiniest of shrieks. She can hear Pumpkin bark from inside her room.

To the rhythm of high heels _clik-claking_ on the tile floor, Principal Diamond enters Peridot’s home.


End file.
